#FicFest's Agent Round

Day 1: 12:00 AM, Posts have gone live! What a crazy feeling, seeing my story out there in the world for everyone to see. I've been so close-guarded with it, not ready to wear such a fragile piece of my heart on my sleeve. But seeing it out there, I realize that's exactly where it belongs!
There are already requests coming in for some entries! I feel so close to my fellow FicFest-ers right now. Just knowing we're all going through this together. Every single one of them has a story that belongs in the hands of readers.


Day 2: Just when I was pushing the refresh button for the thousandth time, thinking "my sanity can't possibly take any more of this," I realized their was an option to receive email notifications if comments had been made on your post... STARS,  I AM FREE.

Day 3: I knew that requests would likely be slow over the weekend. Agents get days off, right?
They've got better things to do than look at our our dreams and hearts laid out on the table before them as we put our futures in their hands--er--I mean, our posts...
And I'm definitely, DEFINITELY, not stalking them via Twitter wondering what in the world could be more important. Yeah, nope. Not me.



Day 4: What is life? Does it have meaning? Do I have meaning? Do you have to have a purpose to have meaning? Or is just existing enough? Will I ever know? Does anyone know? Would knowing defeat the purpose of the journey or would it add an understanding and appreciation that would otherwise be taken for granted? Is it even possible to...............

But really, as I watch the requests roll in for others, I'm genuinely struggling. "What am I doing wrong?" "Why can't I make this happen?" "Is this not what I'm meant to do?" My confidence and optimism are taking big hits today. I hope this is the worst these feelings get. Because they're unproductive and pander to self-pity. 

Day 5: Only a few days left.

Nope. Nope. I'm okay. It's cool. I knew this was going to happen. The market for my genre isn't back yet, I don't think I have the right beginning, too much info dumping, NA as a category doesn't seem to be catching on... it's cool. I'm fine. I totally anticipated this. Yep. We're good. Soooo gud.  

Day 6: *drops a sick beat*

Coming to terms. See the lessons I've learned.
You aren't given success, it's something you earn.
If the fire's still hot, it'll always burn.
Keep your head up, you're allowed to yearn.
Don't give in and never let go.
You'll get your turn, keep that fire aglow.

Yes... I am that lame. Considering a new career writing badass rhymes *ppfftt*

Day 7: 

I love Joey. And I love dinosaurs. Therefore I can not give up.  

On the End of FicFest:

I have to say, the best thing about this experience was the community. It's a reminder that you are not alone in the trenches, battling it out for your dreams. You've got people there, ready to hoist you up by the collar when you feel like giving up the fight. My fellow FicFest-ers were wellsprings of support and encouragement.

And from my wonderful mentor came a validation of purpose and self. I'm doing something worthwhile, I'm not totally, completely horrible at it, and it's a Personal Legend (seriously, you need to read The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho) that's still worth pursuing.

Soul Bound is a story close to my heart. I've learned so much about myself by looking at the first story I chose to write. And it's helped me immensely in deciding what's important to me as a writer and what I want to communicate through my stories.

FicFest was just one step in the journey. And it truly was a big one.
Here's to getting back on the horse, getting comfy AF in the saddle, and riding for the horizon (taking out some Nazgul and Fellbeasts on the way, HUZZAH).

#FicFest

So some of you might be aware that earlier this month I entered a new writing contest called #FicFest. FicFest immediately drew my attention because it was a contest that gave an equal chance to all categories. Unlike other contests, that group picture books and adult books all into one, FicFest separates entrants by categories: Picture Book, Middle Grade, Young Adult, New Adult, and Adult. Each category has 9 finalists, chosen by a mentor that will work with their mentee for two months to get ready for the agent round (where participating agents look at the finalists' queries and first 3 pages for their writerly matches).

Entering this contest was some serious last ditch effort-ing; I had already decided to shelve my story and move on to the next. On a whim, or perhaps by the grace of that ever-so-pushy hand of fate, I entered the contest. After numerous form rejections and the general agent consensus seeming to be "I love the story but there's no market for it right now," I told myself my chances were nil, but that it sure as hell didn't hurt to try.

And, lo and behold, I'm a finalist!!

And my mentor Hetal is every mentee's dream! I can't even begin to describe how refreshing it is to have someone so genuinely invested in your journey. To have chosen you for YOU, because they truly enjoyed your story and believe it deserves a place in readers' hands. Her creative insight is invaluable and she's an endless spring of support and encouragement and wisdom and entertaining gifs (for which we both have an intense passion)!

With some amazing notes and suggestions and critiques from my mentor-queen in hand, I've finished the first coat of polish on my MS so that, in the final round, an agent might say "How much is that novel in the window? The one with the lively tale?" (see what I did there? Lolz)

Fingers crossed that #FicFest will bear the fruit of my loins. Wait... sow the seeds of my labor? Er... Something something wisdom something something philosophical point about hard work.

For now, I'll wait for my mentor-goddess' next batch of notes on this MS and get back to dabbling in paralyzing self-doubt and that abyss of insecurity. Or as some of you might know it, "writing."

~Be mindful of the chances you're not taking--you have to open a door to see where it leads.~